Two Homes

Throughout this huge shift, Levan and I agreed that we wanted to slowly explain the changes to Leo. We didn't sit him down and tell him that "Mommy and Daddy don't love each other anymore, or that we fight to much" etc etc. 

First we both felt that it was not very age appropriate, and my huge concern is that I didn't want him to internalize any statements, since kids his age are very egocentric he might think that since the world revolves around him that he did something to cause this change.

So we started off slowly explaining to him that Mommy and Leo were having new rooms built for them at Grandma's house. We started calling our shared home, the condo. And when he had questions, we answered them, always letting him know that in his new homes either mommy or daddy would be with him, we were not leaving him alone.

In my quest for explanation I found a book that was as straight forward and clear as our explanations. It is called "Two Homes", it follows a gender neutral child Alex as he explains that he has two homes. There is no mention of divorce, feelings, or struggles. Its very age appropriate and Leo really loves it. The first time we read it he had a huge smile on his face and said "Mommy, Alex it just like me, he has two homes!" Exactly the reaction I was hoping for!

So if you are going through something similar and are looking for a straightforward uncomplicated book for your kids you should check it out. We highly recommend it :)

Superficial

I'm emotionally connected to wood, drywall and stone...is there a twelve step program for this?

While I was moving these last couple of days I couldn't help but notice how much love I have for the home I'm leaving. 

I found myself totally angry several times while I was packing the kitchen...MY kitchen! I love that thing, its totally laid out to my liking, the counters are slightly raised for my almost six foot frame...Ugh! My backsplash..oh my beautiful tumble stone backsplash I remember when I found you at the tile store on sale and I squealed like a little girl. 

My walk in pantry its dreamy...goodbye old friend...

My bathrooms, I  picked out the paint colors and travertine tiles while I was 9 months pregnant. And when I found both of the vanities on clearance for $3000 to $300 I felt like a God! 

And my favorite lover...my personal walk in closet...you were my first and I loved how you held all of my shoes, bags, hats, scarves, clothes and my mid century dresser. You made me fall in love with you. 

I can't even get into the memories created here, Leo's first words, and steps...those thoughts I will save for another day when I am stronger..but for now I am staring down hallways, standing in rooms, and absorbing everything. In a few short days I will be a visitor here, the place we created, my first home.

Currently....

So currently....

I have debated wether or not to share what is happening so soon, but I feel really strongly that I need to write about it. I have been journaling which makes me feel like an emotional tween, and thought I would be brave since most people know what is going on now.

After eleven years, Levan and I have collectively made the choice to continue our relationship just as friends and co-parents.

Feels weird even typing that, even though this is the most adult decision that I have ever made, its still not easy. At some point you have to recognize that something is not working and is doing more harm then good. And that is the decision we've come to.

Which seems to have puzzled most of our family and friends, they want some sort of definitive reason for why we are splitting, but its bigger then that. There are many reasons we are walking away from this relationship, and in doing so we are making a healthy decision for ourselves and especially our son.

We are still very good friends, which again confuses a lot of people, but yes we still care and love each other, we made a beautiful little creature together!

And this is where I realize how blessed we are in making this decision now, we truly co-parent! When Leo is with his daddy I talk to him on the phone, get photo's texted to me, and even hang out with them together! His family welcomes me with love and warmth just as before. It is so important to us to create normalcy in this situation for Leo, to create a secure and subtle transition, and above all make him feel loved!! Which is exactly what we are doing, I put aside any sort of resentment or sadness I feel, because those do come up, but they do not take priority over my beautiful little man.

So, I have spent the last couple of months packing up my belongings and getting ready to move back in with my Mom....which is not as terrible as it sounds :)  As soon as I told her it was a given that she would provide a home for Leo and I. She turned her life upside down, and has spent the last couple of months completely renovating and reorganizing her home to make a ton of space for us, Leo even gets his own room!

And throughout all of this, I have run the gamut of emotions, some days I cry, others I feel regret and anger. But at the end of the day before I drift to sleep I really truly feel blessed to have our families and friends support. And in all honestly I really feel proud of Levan and I for handling it well.

Nothing is permanent

There is a complete shift happening right now in our lives.

When the dust has settled I can go into more detail. For now I am happy, healthy and feeling blessed to have my family, friends, son and my faith.

Tomorrow I turn 31 and I look forward to new chapter in my life.

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” ~Buddha

Oh Hai

So yeah....I have this blog here that I have totally been ignoring...just thought I would acknowledge that fact...Right now I am just not in the mood to blog about anything.

Wunderkind Wednesday: Pipe Cleaner fun

Remember...never give up on your dreams

I think I laughed for a solid five minutes...enjoy.

Happy Friday

It's a rainy friday here in L.A.  Leo and I have spent the morning being cuddly, drawing, watching nick jr  (fresh beat band makes we want to claw my eyes out) and reading books.

Leo's currently obsessed with the hat that Daddy bought him when they were on what we call "a gentleman's day out" He wears it all day long.

This weekend we are going to be celebrating the Russian (greek) orthodox Easter with Levan's parents and doing random chores around the tiny casa, hope you have an amazing weekend!

xo
Heather

Wunderkind Wednesday

Introducing a new feature: Wunderkind Wednesday's!

I wanted to start sharing the activities and crafts that Leo and I do together. Everyday I try to do some art project or sensory activity with him. Not only does he love it, but it gives me a little time to do some chores or just drink a cup of coffee and take a deep breath.

The craft I am sharing today are the Felt Eggs that we decorated for Easter, I know totally late on the holiday, but you can do this with any shape.


You'll need a few supplies:

Cut your shape out of felt and place all your little items in separate bowls, since we used buttons I sat with Leo while he worked just in case he got curious and would try to shove any of them in one of his face holes.

Leo would lay out everything the way he liked it then I would help him glue it down. Here is the end result Daddy and Mommy Eggs. I kept the leftover supplies in a plastic bag, labeled it and threw it in Leo's diaper bag so the next time we went out to eat it would keep him busy at the table.

Hope you and your little ones enjoy!!

xo

Heather

Our Easter

This Easter was super mellow for us this year, which was exactly what we needed. Levan and Leo both have the most terrible allergies and all three of us were suffering on sunday.
In the morning Leo woke up to find his easter basket stuffed with goodies and even though I put a ton of arts and crafts surprises inside all he wanted to do was stuff his face with Jelly Beans. Who can blame him, I think I have to stop myself from doing this on a daily basis.
We had a wonderful family breakfast of baked blueberry oatmeal and spent the day being lazy, stuffed up and sneezy. After a failed attempt at a nap we dragged our butts to my moms house for some delicious food, sweet little easter baskets, and a easter egg hunt.
This year my Dad hid all the Easter eggs and it was wonderful to watch him do it, all of these memories from my childhood came flooding back and it was nice to experience. I don't think I would have experienced that if I was preoccupied with organizing festivities. It's amazing what gems you will find while being present.
Little man had a great time finding all the eggs and sat on a blanket with his haul and sampled every little piece he had. It was around that time that I looked at Levan and his eyes were damn near swollen shut so we headed home to get in our jammies and laid in bed watching cars.
I hope you all had a wonderful Easter with your families.